


To meet again

by Hotaru_Tomoe



Series: Atonement [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst with a Happy Ending, Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Spoilers, Brother/Brother Incest, Dreams and Nightmares, Future Fic, M/M, Sibling Incest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-29
Updated: 2018-05-29
Packaged: 2019-05-15 17:32:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14794868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hotaru_Tomoe/pseuds/Hotaru_Tomoe
Summary: The war against Thanos is over, the Avengers have won, but Thor can't deal with Loki's death; when Thor meets an old flame of his, he begins to be tormented by strange nightmares about his lost brother.This is the sequel of "Atonement".Mind the tags, please.





	To meet again

Odin was right: that place was beautiful.

Thor remembered perfectly when he sat there with him and Loki; he remembered his father's tired voice, he remembered the spark of pride that had lit Odin’s eye, as he talked about his sons, he remembered the smell of the ocean and the breeze on his skin.

For a few moments they had been a family again, like on Asgard, when Frigga scolded them for arriving late for dinner, or when they were training in the courtyard of the royal palace, and Loki made him look like a fool with one of his clones.

A weak smile lit up Thor's face for a moment, but it quickly disappeared.

He felt a heartbreaking nostalgia.

The battle for the fate of the universe had ended, the Avengers had won, and the people turned to ashes by Thanos had come back to life, as the effects of the Infinity Gems had been reversed.

Only those people, though.

Those who had been killed by the mad Titan previously were still dead.

Avenged, of course, but still dead.

Thor had seen many people fall, during countless battles, enemies and allies, innocent people and criminals. War was just like that, he knew it.

Yet, as people rose from the dust, and ran to meet and embrace their loved ones, a part of him had hoped that Loki was among them, perhaps hidden behind one of his disguises, as he sneaked up to catch him by surprise.

And Thor would have forgiven him, both for the ambush attempt and for faking his death again.

He would have lifted him off the ground, regardless of his protests, and would have kissed him there, in front of everyone.

But it hadn’t happened.

Loki hadn’t come back to him.

Just before Thanos destroyed their spaceship, they had made love, finally they had understood each other body and soul; Thor remembered the whiteness of Loki’s skin, the scent of his hair, the soothing, almost musical cadence of his voice, the reflections in his green, magnetic eyes, the warmth of their entwined fingers.

And this time Loki hadn’t come back to him.

After the end of the war against Thanos, also the Asgardians killed by the Titan had come back to life; along with the other survivors they had reached an uninhabited planet, a new Asgard, where their civilization would flourish, but Thor hadn’t stayed with them.

Reigning without Loki by his side didn’t make sense to him, he didn’t felt any impulse towards command, so he wouldn’t be a good king.

Even Midgard didn’t needed him anymore: now there was the Sorcerer Supreme to watch over the planet; but he had no other place to go, and since none of the Avengers was against it, he stayed there.

Tony had offered him hospitality in one of his estates, but Thor still preferred the place where Odin had died; during the night he slept at Erik's house, who was devoting himself to new, extravagant studies.

The sky was dark and threatened to rain even without his intervention.

"You lied to me, Loki,” he murmured, looking at the horizon, where the sky and the sea melted. “And from the god of mischief I had to expect it, but you shouldn’t lie about that. You said the sun will shine on us again. But it's not like that,” he covered his eyes with one hand. “It's not like that."

 

He liked that place not only because it was full of memories, but because no one ever disturbed his thoughts.

It was a delicate, familiar female voice that interrupted his routine a few days later.

"Hi Thor, it has been a while."

"Jane!"

"In person."

Thor looked up, surprised, and Jane sat next to him on the rock, smiling and pushing a lock of hair behind her ear.

It was a friendly approach, and once Thor would have loved her presence, but when he saw her sitting down where Loki had been sitting, he felt slightly annoyed.

However, since he knew that Jane's intentions were good, and Frigga hadn’t raised a brute, he said nothing, still staring at the horizon.

He couldn’t think of anything to say to her, not even after all that time.

"Erik told me where to find you,” said Jane, breaking the tense silence that lasted too long for her tastes, “he is a little worried about you. And now I am too, you know."

"Why?"

"You come here, in the middle of nowhere, and stare at the horizon for hours. It's depressing."

"I'm fine," Thor snapped, his voice more abrupt than he intended.

Jane grimaced skeptically and shook her head.

She was tenacious and clever, Thor recognized it, and those were qualities he admired greatly in her.

"You have won, Thanos has been defeated, and everything is like it was before, so why are you so troubled?"

"Did Erik tell you everything?"

Jane pressed her lips together and nodded silently, then leaned closer and squeezed his hand in her.

"I'm so sorry for Heimdall, he was a good and rightful man."

"Did he tell you about Loki, too?"

Jane let go of Thor's hand and brought them back to her lap, clenching them in a fist.

"Yes, he told me he had faked his death, again, and had usurped the throne to your father."

"Our father,” Thor corrected her. “And if Odin really wanted, I'm sure he would get rid of Loki's magic whenever he wanted to. I think he wanted to make amends towards the end of his life."

Jane looked at him in disbelief.

"For what?"

"Odin has been a great king, but as a father,” Thor shook his head, “he made mistakes."

Jane frowned.

"This doesn’t justify Loki for sending him to a hospice on Earth."

"I know that Loki has made many mistakes, but he died with honor, Jane, fighting at my side, saving my life. And in this bloody war, he is the one who paid the highest price."

Jane bit her lips, to avoid telling him that she didn’t care about Loki’s end, and that she thought it was the right price to pay for his wickedness. She didn’t talk because Thor had always been incredibly lenient with his brother, he could forgive him the unforgivable, and a wrong word about Loki had the power to put him in a bad mood.

She would never understand why.

"Are you sure he's really dead? I mean, I've lost count of the times he deceived you."

"He didn’t come back to me,” Thor said, lowering his head. “This time I'm almost sure he's dead."

Almost.

Because a small part of him didn’t want to stop hoping.

He couldn’t.

"He already did it. Why is this time different, compared to the other times?"

"Some things had changed between us. If he could, he would come back."

He didn’t tell her more than that, as he wasn’t sure that Jane would understand: on Midgard they had different customs.

A gust of wind made Jane shiver, and she tightened the coat around herself.

"A storm is coming,” she said, pointing to the horizon with a nod of his head. “It's better if we come back."

Thor nodded and materialized his axe to transport himself to Erik's house, but Jane stopped him, showing the keys of her jeep.

"I'll give you a ride. And tonight we could go out and eat a pizza with Darcy and her new boyfriend: I always feel like an intruder between them, when it’s just the three of us. What do you say?"

Thor looked at her, confused.

"I thought... I thought we split up."

"Yes, I left you," Jane pointed out, "but I also told you we could remain friends. And it seemed to me that you agreed, but if you don’t want..."

"No, no, it's okay," Thor said, and followed her. He didn’t fully understand her behavior, but that seemed the right answer, because Jane smiled.

The dinner was funny, Darcy's new boyfriend was a straightforward, nice man, he held his alcohol well, to be a man from Earth, and Thor got along well with him.

The conversation then shifted to work: Jane and her group of research had been tasked with studying the effects of climate change in Tierra del Fuego, and it seemed like an important project.

"Hey! Why don’t you come with us?" Darcy suggested suddenly, talking with Thor.

"I don’t know…"

"Do you have anything better to do?"

"No,” the god sighed. “I haven’t."

"Then come with us! We'll throw a party every night."

"Darcy,” Jane intervened, laughing, “tell me the truth: you want Thor to come only because there's a lot of heavy stuff to carry."

"It's not true!” She protested, “But if you want to carry my suitcases, I’ll not say no.”

"All right, I'm coming with you," Thor said. Maybe Erik and Jane were right, and staying there, mulling over things that couldn’t be changed, wasn’t good for him.

"Hoorray! We have to celebrate!” Darcy laughed. “Can we have other beers, please?"

 

The nightmares began the same evening of their arrival in Ushuaia.

Because of the confined spaces of the base camp dorm, he found himself sharing the room with Jane, occupying the lowest of the two bunk beds. 

She said that it wasn’t a problem to her and that, especially in the early days, she would spend little time in the room, because of work. 

Thor wasn’t embarrassed by the situation, either: the days of his infatuation for her were far away.

The first night Thor had no memory of what he had dreamed of. He woke up with the horrible feeling that he was out of breath, and he sat up so quickly that he slammed his head against the net of the upper bed.

Jane grunted in her sleep, but didn’t wake up.

Thor took a few deep breaths and lay back, trying to get back to sleep, but he couldn’t: a vague sense of uneasiness remained at the bottom of his soul, preventing him from relaxing.

He didn’t feel like that since the Avengers had confronted Ultron: maybe a new enemy loomed on the horizon? He had to watch.

During the day it was better: helping Jane and the others members of the team kept his mind busy, far from the thought of Loki and from this new, indefinite feeling brought by the nightmares.

Jane was the usual curious and energetic scientist he remembered, Darcy was fun as always, and the other guys in the research team were likeable too.

The days passed quickly, but at night things were different, and Thor kept waking up with the distressing feeling of being suffocating, as if someone was gripping his throat.

Like Thanos had done with Loki.

 

One day, Jane and Darcy were assembling a meteorological station near a slope, when they noticed a struggling albatross not far from them.

"Is he hurt?" Darcy asked.

Jane squinted to watch at the bird carefully.

"I don’t see blood, but he can’t fly... ah! He has a fishing line around his body."

She retrieved a scissors and got up, approaching the bird.

"We have to finish here."

"I will be right back."

Jane approached the bird slowly, but the animal backed toward the slope, scared.

"No, no, stop! I don’t want to hurt you."

Jane moved forward again and the albatross slid down the steep slope, but she didn’t give up and followed him, managing to grab and tuck him under one arm. She climbed up carefully, but she put a foot on an unstable rock and slid down further, where the cliff fell into the ocean after a jump of a hundred meters.

Jane screamed, searching in vain for a solid grip on the saggy ground. Darcy rushed over and, as soon as she saw her, she called Thor loudly.

Never letting go the albatross, Jane set her feet against a rock to stop the fall, but also that brake gave way, falling into the water.

She thought she was lost, but suddenly she was gripped around her waist by a strong arm and, a second later, she found herself on solid ground.

"Are you okay?" Thor asked, visibly worried.

"Yes, thank you."

"What were you doing? Are you insane?" He shouted.

"He is entangled in a fishing line, I wanted to save him," she replied, pointing to the albatross writhing under her armpit. The bird, not at all happy with the recent adventure, vented his frustration on the Asgardian, pecking him on the arm.

“Hey, no!” Jane laughed, “This is not the way to thank the man who saved our lives."

With the help of Darcy they freed him from the fishing line, and the albatross flew away.

"Thanks again," Jane said to Thor as they walked toward the base camp.

"Were you scared?"

"A little... but you know? In a corner of my mind I knew you would save me."

She looked at him and smiled, and Thor returned the smile, although he felt almost uncomfortable.

That night he dreamed of Loki for the first time.

Thor could see only his brother’s back, but his figure was unmistakable. Loki was in the middle of a pool of dark water, in what looked like a cold and damp cave, elegantly suspended just above the water's surface, but when Thor tried to reach him, the waters swallowed him and he drowned.

The following night, Thor wandered in the cave for a long time before finding Loki; he called him, but no sound came out of his mouth, as if his voice had been swallowed by the void.

On the third night, Thor finally reached him; he launched himself in a mad rush to hug Loki, but his arms met only emptiness, and Thor found himself face down on the ground.

"You're not here," Thor murmured.

"No," Loki answered, and his voice sounded very sad.

 

At the end of the meal, Jane put a sweet-smelling dessert on the table.

"Apple pie."

"Where did you find the apples here? And in this season, then!" Darcy asked.

"If you want, you can," Jane replied, and then looked at Thor. "If I remember correctly, it's your favorite dessert."

"You remember very well," he replied, cutting almost half of the cake for himself.

 

"Why aren’t you here?" Thor asked Loki in his nightmare, after having tried in vain again to hug him, but it was yet another illusion.

"Because you don’t want me to be here," Loki murmured, lowering his eyes.

"That's not true!" Thor roared.

_ "How can you say this? There is nothing I would like more. I want to hold you, I want to ask you for forgiveness, I want to make love to you again." _

Thor felt icy water licking his feet, and when he looked down, he found himself immersed in the usual cold pool that swallowed him.

When he awoke, he sat up with such violence that Jane woke up because of the jolt of the bed.

"Thor…” she grumbled, “what's going on?"

"Nothing, nothing, I just have to go to the bathroom."

"Hn."

The next day Jane and Thor worked alone all day: the scientist had to place some instruments a few miles away, and the group's guide had advised them to be careful, because the police had reported the presence of common criminals in the zone, so Thor offered to be Jane’s bodyguard.

Toward the end of the day, Thor sat down on a rock, contemplating a landscape similar to the place where he had said goodbye to Odin.

It seemed like memories wouldn’t stop tormenting him.

He started when Jane put a hand on his shoulder.

"What?"

"I said I finished. Weren’t you listening to me?"

"Sorry... woolgathering."

"Last night... you got up and you never came back."

"I had some trouble sleeping."

Jane took his hand.

"I'm afraid this trip turned out to be rather boring for you."

"Don’t worry about it, I've dealt worse."

"I'm glad I'm not terrifying like Thanos," she laughed.

Thor was trying to leave the past behind, he wanted to forget that he had lost everything, but it was proving more difficult than expected, he thought, glancing at the solitary rock behind him.

And, at the bottom of his soul, he was aware that a part of him would never forget.

 

"I really wish you were here," Thor said, as his hand passed through the face of the illusion in front of him.

Loki turned away abruptly.

"And they say that I’m the god of mischief."

For the first time, in his voice there was something sour and rancorous, in place of the usual melancholy.

"Why do you say this?"

"Because your words say something, but your actions tell the opposite."

"Loki, no..."

"Goodbye" he hissed coldly.

"NO!"

Thor awoke with a start, as usual, got up and went out, ignoring Jane's gaze on his back.

He returned to the cliff, looking at the sea. 

He didn’t need a psychoanalyst, as they called them on Midgard, to understand why he kept dreaming about Loki. The guilt played an important role, because the last words he had addressed to his brother had been of accusation, and he hadn’t had the opportunity to ask him for forgiveness. Moreover, trying to forget, after what had been between them, sounded like a kind of betrayal.

But what else could he do?

He didn’t know: he had no answers, he didn’t have a plan.

A solitary branch continued to be thrown on the stony shore. From time to time, the backwash brought it back to the sea, but then another wave threw it on the beach again.

It was stuck, and Thor felt the same way.

 

The next night, Loki had a different look in his nightmare, revealing his Jotun nature.

His skin was bluish, cadaverous, and from his body the frost spread all around in waves. He was cold, hostile, angry.

"I don’t understand why you keep coming back, since you're in such a hurry to get on with your life..."

"I have no control over my dreams," Thor snapped.

"So I'm right. You don’t want to be here, you don’t really want for me to be with you."

"Stop putting in my mouth words that I've never said!"

Furious, Thor grabbed his shoulder: this time it wasn’t an illusion, but Loki's body crumbled like ice under his hand.

His cry roused the entire compound.

 

Jane put a bottle of beer in front of Thor, who was sitting at the desk in their room.

It was raining heavily that day, and they couldn’t leave the base.

"Thanks," he answered absently.

Jane sighed and leaned against the wall.

"Why don’t you want to tell me what's going on? Are we or are we not friends?"

"Nothing is happening."

"It's not true," she insisted. "You're distracted, you never listen when someone speaks to you, and you're terribly blue. Not to mention that during the night you continue to have nightmares, you wake up and don’t came back to sleep. If you're so worried about the new Asgard, you should go and see how they doing."

"No, I'm not worried about that."

"However, I don’t understand why you have abdicated, you are an hero and their rightful king."

"Loki and I had exchanged the promise to reign together. I can’t do it without him."

"What? Why would you do that?"

"Because he has the same right to reign, just like me: we were both sons of Odin."

Jane rubbed her temples in disbelief.

"Thor, your brother was a crazy criminal! Did you forget what he did in New York?"

"Loki had changed."

Jane made a disgusted sound, and rolled her eyes.

"I will never understand this! You've always been ready to defend him, always!"

"And you to accuse him," Thor hissed through clenched teeth.

"Have you ever wondered why it was over between us?"

Taken by surprise, Thor stared at her, puzzled, as if he had lost a part of the speech somewhere.

"What does Loki have to do with this? It was over between us because you left me."

"I left you because there was always a shadow between us, his shadow. I thought that now that he is really dead, maybe we could try again, but it’s clear that nothing has changed, he is still here, even now. And he was so good at manipulating you with his silvertongue that he brainwashed you, until you believe there was something good in him."

"Do not speak of Loki like this ever again!"

Thor jumped up, knocking over his chair, and he punched the desk with such force that he destroyed it, along with all the scientific equipment on it.

Jane stepped back, while Thor looked at the result of his outburst, mortified.

"I-I'm sorry... I... I'll fix it..." he stammered.

"Here! This is the result of what Loki did to you," Jane said, leaving the room.

On the door, she clashed with Darcy, rushed to see what had happened.

"Whoa! Who blew a bomb in here? Jane... Jane, where are you going?" She shouted, running after her friend.

Thor scolded himself: he shouldn’t have to lose his temper like that and scare Jane, but despite this, he still thought that her opinion of Loki was wrong.

But he had to remedy the disaster he had done.

He took from his pocket the bracelet that Shuri had given to all the Avengers, after the end of the battle against Thanos, in case there were new dangers (wise woman, despite her young age), and called the Sorcerer supreme.

Strange's hologram materialized on his palm.

"Thor, what do I owe this call?"

"You have to come here and do something for me."

Strange grimaced in annoyance, but Thor didn’t noticed it: having been raised as a prince, he took for granted a certain deference to him.

"Please is the magic word," Strange said, suddenly appearing behind him, making him jump: he hated being taken by surprise, while the sorcerer seemed to get a sadistic pleasure from it.

He didn’t wear his traditional dress, but an elegant dark suit.

"I was going to dinner," Strange said, answering to Thor’s questioning gaze. "So tell me, what can I do for you?"

Thor pointed to the pile of wreckage at his feet.

"Fix it, make them return as they were before," he ordered abruptly, but, after having looked at the impassive face of the sorcerer, he added, "Please."

"Do I look like a carpenter?” Strange answered, raising an eyebrow with clear irritation. “First of all, what happened here?

"An accident," Thor muttered, reticent. "Come on, don’t make me beg, do one of your magic tricks," he urged, swinging his arms in the air.

"They aren’t tricks."

"Tony calls them that."

"It's not good to spend too much time with Stark," Strange sighed, but he satisfied Thor, bringing the desk and equipment back to their original state, but then he opened a portal and took the Asgardian to the New York Sanctum with him.

"Why did you do that? I order you to bring me back," Thor snapped.

"Sit down" Strange ordered, not at all intimidated. He took them to another room and Thor found himself sitting in a chair in spite of himself. "My job is to protect the Earth and the Earthlings from harm, so explain to me why you destroyed those things."

"Do you think I could hurt Jane or someone else? You're crazy, I would never do that!"

Outraged, Thor was about to smash his fists again on the desk, but he restrained himself, mindful of what had just happened.

"It’s clear that you have a problem of anger, God of Thunder. Why?"

Thor glared at him, his lips stubbornly tight, and Strange materialized a cup of tea and a mug of beer from nowhere.

"You know I can find out anyway."

Thor drank his beer in one gulp, then sat with his mug in his hand, tapping his fingers on the glass.

"Loki. I just can’t accept his death,” he murmured, finally. “Thanos is dead, I avenged Loki, and I know that now I should go on with my life, because that's what people do after a loss. It's what I did after all the losses of my life, but this time,” he lowered his head, defeated, “I can’t."

He was a god, holding one of the most powerful weapons in the galaxy, but he couldn’t let go the memory of Loki.

"You and your brother were very close," Strange remarked gently, resting his cup on the saucer.

"More than you imagine. Do you judge me, Earthling?"

Thor looked into his eyes, but Strange shook his head with a weird smile.

"Becoming the Sorcerer supreme has made me much more open-minded.” He stood up and reached Thor, “I don’t judge you, and I’m sincerely sorry for your loss."

The Sorcerer placed a hand on Thor's shoulder and, as it happened in the past, he had some perceptions: the fate of the Asgardian wasn’t on Earth, but in place very far away.

It wasn’t a real vision, he felt only some strong feelings about Thor and Loki: the red thread of fate that bonded them hadn’t broken, but if he tried to see beyond, he found himself in front of a wall of fog.

Strange was surprised at not being able to see more clearly and withdrew his hand, troubled: what could have restrained the eyes of his mind? Magic, maybe?

Seeing him so serious, Thor tried a joke: "What, more dire predictions about my future?"

"I don’t know,” the sorcerer confessed. “I only perceive that the relationship between you and Loki is not closed."

"That's what I'm trying to tell you."

"You never really said goodbye to him, and maybe you need this."

Thor nodded, thinking about it: when Rocket's spaceship had saved him, he hadn’t worried about anything but to find Thanos and kill him, but he hadn’t looked for his brother's corpse to give him the burial he deserved.

"What should I do?"

"I can’t answer to this. I can only offer you a starting point and wish you good luck."

Without warning, he opened another portal that swallowed Thor.

"Tell me, are you really sure you want to start a career as a spiritual advisor for superheroes?" Ross asked. The deputy commander had witnessed the whole scene from a distance.

"Do you doubt my abilities?"

"I have concerns about your ways, more than anything else."

Strange approached him and fixed his tie knot.

"I was a little hasty, I admit it, but we have a reservation at Per Se."

"Will he be okay?" Ross asked, referring to Thor.

"I couldn’t see it, we can only hope."

 

Strange’s portal threw Thor into a spaceship that was in the middle of a battle, judging by the constant jolts.

"Hey!” exclaimed a voice Thor knew. “We have a stowaway on board."

Drax grabbed his arm and helped him get back on his feet.

Rocket, seated at the battlefield, turned to him.

"Thor, my friend! What are you doing here?"

"I am Groot!" Said the tree, pointing to the enemy spaceships.

"You're right, we should save the pleasantries for later."

With the support of some Xandarian ships, they quickly got the better of the small group of rebel space pirates.

"That sucks, my friend! Among the people who have come back to life there’re also a lot of scumbags, and, as the Guardians of the Galaxy, we have a lot of work to do. Well, why are you here?"

"I don’t know," Thor admitted candidly.

"I am Groot," Groot murmured, returning to devote himself to his videogame.

"When Peter and Gamora come back, stay sure that I'll tell them that you've called a guest like that," Drax warned, pointing his finger at Groot.

The tree shrugged, as if to say that he wasn’t impressed.

"Doctor Strange opened a portal that brought me here," Thor said, and Rocket crossed his arms in irritation.

"That's not good, though. He can’t dump people on my ship without warning us: the next time we pass next to the Earth, I'll make him pay."

"I can pay you, too, and I need you to take me to a place."

Rocket's spaceship was fast and powerful, with it they could reach the place where Loki died, so Thor handed him Shuri's bracelet and the raccoon's eyes lit up with interest.

"This is an interesting knick-knack, more than your friend's arm."

"Arm? What arm?"

"Er... forget it. Where do you have to go?"

Thor gave him the coordinates, and Rocket got to the controls.

"Am I wrong or it is not far from where Asgard was, before it exploded?"

"Yes."

"Hm."

Thor sat next to him and watched the space, lost in thought. After a while, Rocket inserted the autopilot and turned the seat toward him.

"What are we going to do there?"

"We're looking for Loki."

"Your brother? The one killed by Thanos?"

"Yes."

"But Thor…” Rocket pointed out, “it's been a long time, his body will be disintegrated."

"I have to give it a try. It's the least I can do for him, after..." he bit his lip and gestured.

"All right," Rocket interrupted. "Don’t say anything else, I understand."

"You are a very wise captain."

They arrived in the area and began to scan the space.

The fragments from the destroyed Sakaar spaceship still rolled lazily in the silence of the cosmos: since there were no planets in the proximity, they hadn’t been attracted by the force of gravity; time in that place seemed to have stopped.

The sensors detected traces of the DNA of the Asgardians massacred by Thanos's soldiers, but nothing from Loki.

"It’s not possible! He must be here!" Thor snapped, punching his fist on the glass.

Why was fate so cruel with him that it didn’t want to give him even that tiny consolation?

"Sensors detect something else, but I don’t understand these readings," Mantis said, looking at the screen.

"Let me see. Hey, someone else was here," Rocket said, sliding a finger across the screen, "there are traces of the passage of an alien spaceship and they're fairly recent."

"What ship?"

The computer worked quickly until the track was identified.

"A Jotun ship. Am I wrong or Loki one of them? They probably took his body back."

"They have no right to do it!" Thor roared. Only the blood bound Loki to the Frost Giants, but he had been raised by Frigga and Odin on Asgard, he had lived centuries by his side, his roots were asgardian, he had been his brother, his lover, and Thor would never have allowed that his body rested in that desolate land, surrounded by strangers. "Let's go and get him back."

"Whoa, whoa, slow down! The Jotun aren’t famous for their hospitality, they will not unroll the red carpet when we arrive."

"I am Groot" sentenced the tree.

"It's not crazy, Groot, it's suicidal," Drax said.

"It's so romantic," Mantis sighed, "he still love his brother even if he's dead."

Rocket waved a paw in their direction.

"Shut up! My word, you'll drive me crazy. But Thor,” he continued, turning to him, “you can’t ask us to tackle an entire planet of Frost Giants by ourselves."

Rocket was right: that wasn’t their battle.

Thor materialized the Stormbreaker in his hands.

"I only ask you to leave me on the planet, I'll take care of the rest."

Drax got up and laid a hand on Thor’s shoulder.

"I never said I wanted to step back from battle: I'm with you."

"I am Groot."

"I love romantic stories,” Mantis sighed. “I'm with you, too."

Rocket scratched the back of his head and sighed: "Ah, is it like that? Well, I don’t want to look like a coward. Okay, let's go!"

Drax leaned toward him and asked in a low voice, "Is there anything you want on Jotunheim?"

"They have an interesting technology," Rocket admitted. "There's no harm if we take something while we are there."

"Good, I was starting to worry."

 

After they arrived to Jotunheim, Rocket had brought the ship into orbit, concealing it to the radar, but didn’t want to land soon, and Thor began to walk back and forth, nervously.

"What are we waiting for?" He roared.

"I don’t want to throw myself voluntarily into a suicide mission, if there is a way to recover your brother's body and sneak away without being noticed by anyone. I hacked their Net and I'm looking for informations."

It wasn’t the strategy that Thor preferred, but Rocket and his crew hadn’t lost everything, still had many reasons to live, and his choice was wise.

"Let's see... oh, this is interesting: the s.o.s. message that you launched from your ship arrived up to Jotunheim, some allies of the clan Laufey sent a ship in exploration, found Loki’s body and took him. "

"Laufey is his blood family, but Loki is nothing for them. In fact, their past is... complicated, why did they do it?"

Rocket uttered a blasphemy that horrified Mantis.

"Well, don’t be surprised if Groot uses that language."

"Sorry, but I read something that took me by surprise. Come and read it too, Thor: here it says that when they found your brother, he wasn’t dead, he was in a kind of cryogenic stasis."

"What?" Thor dropped the Stormbreaker to the ground and threw himself on the small video with such force that he unhinged from his support. "Don’t lie to me!"

"I'm not lying to you, read."

It was true: Loki was dying when he was found by the Jotuns, but he wasn’t dead.

Thor collapsed on the seat and covered his mouth with one hand, cursing himself: when he was found by Peter Quill, he should have checked, he should have insisted and stay, looking for his body, but he was so blinded by the hatred toward Thanos and his desire for revenge, that he hadn’t thought of anything else.

He was the worst brother.

Mantis knelt beside him and put a hand on his arm: "Don’t blame yourself, you couldn’t know it: Loki had been strangled by Thanos and then his body wandered in the space, it was normal to think he was dead."

"No: Loki is smart and has always a plan to get away with it, and I should have known. And then,” he turned back to Rocket and pressed him, “what happened to him?"

"They kept him in cryogenic stasis because apparently this accelerates the healing process in the Frost Giants... bah, strange biology... and then they didn’t wake him up, because they had other problems: when Thanos disintegrated half the inhabitants of the universe, on Jotunheim a civil war for the succession to the throne broke out. When people came back to life, the alliances between the clans changed again and the war did nothing but worsen... what a bunch of idiots!"

And Loki was still confined there, prisoner, in a coma, caught in a war that didn’t belong to him, to be used as a weapon of blackmail or whatever.

"Where is he?"

The spaceship screen showed a rock and ice desert, dominated by a high mountain, and the entrance to a cave.

"The ship's sensors can’t see what's inside, it's protected by some kind of shielding. Fasten your seat belts: we land."

The entrance to the cave was guarded, but the guards didn’t expect the raid of an alien spaceship and were routed in a few minutes.

Rocket approached a control panel placed on a huge crystal.

"The cave shield is controlled from here: if you give me a minute..."

Thor summoned a powerful lightning storm and crashed it on the entrance to the cave, causing the protective screen to disintegrate in an instant.

"... nevermind,” Rocket sighed. “Do you think you need help in there?"

"No: I will use the Stormbreaker to wipe out any obstacle and then I’ll carry me and Loki away from here. What about you?"

"We are fine. Groot, collect the weapons of the soldiers, some of these crystals and then we leave, before reinforcements arrive. See you around, Thor."

Only when he was in front of the cave, Thor realized that it was the same he saw in his nightmares.

Had Loki shown it to him?

So he didn’t dream, he had visions... the feeling of being suffocated, the cold... Loki had shown Thor what had happened to him, albeit in an allegorical way. But why didn’t he tell him he was alive? Thor didn’t understand.

In the cave, ran a stream of icy water, the same that in his nightmares had swallowed him several times: Thor followed it to the main room where, surrounded by another barrier, magical this time, there was a metal capsule big enough to hold an adult man.

The barrier repelled his first attack, and two Jotun sorcerers came to meet him.

"What are you looking for, Asgardian? Do your people intend to resume the war against ours?"

"Asgard has been destroyed, it doesn’t exist anymore, and I am not here in the name of my people, but only for personal reasons.” Thor pointed the Stormbreaker in the direction of the capsule, “give me Loki and nobody will get hurt."

"We can’t: Laufeyson is an important pawn in the current political framework."

"He is Loki Odinson and he is my brother: free him, or you will lose your life."

"If you believe your brute strength is superior to our magic, go ahead."

Thor raised his weapon over his head and a crackle of lightning rose in the air.

"This is the axe I used to cut Thanos’s head: I'm ready to kill you and tear this place apart until there is nothing left, or even the entire planet, if it's needed."

"This place is sacred to the Jotuns," one of the sorcerers protested.

"And Loki is sacred to me," Thor said solemnly. "What's your decision?"

The two looked at each other, exchanging nods of understanding, lowered the barrier and moved away.

Thor ran to the capsule, swept away the frost that covered the glass, and winced.

His brother was inside; he wore a white tunic and his eyes were closed, he seemed to be deep asleep. He looked like a Jotun, and Thor wasn’t used to see him like that, though it had probably been his nature of Frost Giant that allowed him to survive in the cold of the cosmos.

An huge wave of relief washed over him, and Thor slipped to his knees beside the capsule, closing his eyes and resting his forehead against the cold metal. He still couldn’t believe that his greatest desire had come true, that he could hold Loki again and make amends for what he had told him.

Many questions still remained unanswered: how Loki had managed to save himself from Thanos, and why he hadn’t made it clear that he was alive in his visions, but now it wasn’t the right time to think about it.

He opened the lid of the capsule with his bare hands, and touched Loki’s shoulder, but he had to retract his hand, because of the frost that emanated from his body: he had forgotten that touching the skin of a Jotun was a bad idea.

He heard someone running in their direction: the two sorcerers called for reinforcements, and he cursed himself for not thinking about it.

He shook violently the capsule in an attempt to wake up his brother.

"Loki! Loki, wake up, dammit: we have to leave."

Slowly, Loki opened two ruby eyes on him and took a deep breath, the first after a long time.

"Thor..?"

Loki's gaze was confused, questioning.

"I'm sorry that your awakening has to be so traumatic, but we don’t have time."

Thor grabbed his brother by the tunic, and in an instant he carried them away.

They landed abruptly in the middle of a living room; Thor kept his balance, while Loki tumbled away, coughing and wheezing.

Thor's first instinct was to help and touch him, but Loki was still in the form of Jotun.

So close to him yet so distant and untouchable.

"Loki..."

His brother breathed deeply, and winced at the sound of his name, but still didn’t turn, while Thor felt a visceral need to feel Loki's skin against his.

"Loki!” Finally Thor broke out, letting months of mourning and despair transpire in his voice: “Why didn’t you let me know that you were alive through your visions? Why do you always have to talk in riddles? Is it all a game for you?"

"A game…” Loki's voice vibrated with indignation. “Do you think that what I went through was fun for me?"

Thor swallowed and lowered his head.

"I didn’t mean this, but if, with your visions, you had told me that you were alive, I would have rushed to you immediately."

Loki cracked a shrill laugh and shook his head slowly, as if he couldn’t believe his ears.

"Have you ever heard a single word from our mother, when she taught us about magic? You should have learned at least some rudiments of how magic works."

"You know I've never been good at that," Thor muttered, ashamed: magic was symbolism and abstraction, it spoke an arcane language that he, a pragmatic man to the core, struggled to understand. And, even if Frigga was patient, she gave up teaching magic to him, after a while.

Loki, on the contrary, had mastered that obscure art right away: he had probably done his best to get those messages to him, considering his condition.

"And then,” Loki went on, “if you think it's easy to bypass a magical barrier erected by Jotun sorcerers without being noticed, try it yourself next time."

"There must not be a next time of this, ever again. I couldn’t bear it."

Loki threw a suspicious look over his shoulder, then stood up carefully, holding his head in his hands: he was still weak for having kept in cryogenic stasis all that time, and he felt a strong nausea.

Loki also felt his brother's impatience emanating from him like concentric circles on the surface of the water, but he hadn’t yet told Thor that his visions worked both ways, and that he had seen fragments of Thor's life after the end of the war against Thanos, including him getting closer to Jane Foster again.

That was the reason that made him so cold and suspicious.

What was the point in telling his brother he was alive, when Thor seemed to have already found consolation elsewhere?

It was obvious that Thor had imagined another kind of reunion between them, but also Loki had seen things he didn’t want to see.

He looked around, absorbing informations from the surrounding environment, but that place was unknown to him.

"Where we are?"

"Wailea, Hawaii. Tony Stark told me that I can come here whenever I want and..."

"Midgard!” Loki hissed in disgust. “I had to imagine it. You just can’t stay away from her, do you?"

Thor was speechless, confused: he didn’t understand who his brother was referring to, his words made no sense.

"Is she here too?” Loki continued, “is she in the kitchen?"

"Who are you talking about?" Thor broke out, spreading his arms. Perhaps the long coma had made Loki mad, there was no other explanation.

"Oh, don’t play dumb with me, you're a bad actor, and I've seen you, anyway. Tell me, was the apple pie good?"

The understanding of what had happened, and the reason of his brother's unfriendly attitude began to make its way into Thor's mind.

"Are you talking about Jane? No, she's not here, she's engaged in one of his research projects."

Loki tightened his fists.

"Oh, now you call it like that?"

The floor around him started to get covered with a sheet of ice, the temperature in the room fell, so much Thor could see his breath condensing in front of his face, and on the windows blossomed frost flowers.

Loki had always loved Thor, of a mad and possessive love, since they were teens, and had loved only him, while his brother was comradely and convivial with everyone, and distributed his love with ease and lightness.

Loki had watched Thor for years jumping from one infatuation to another, his heart full of anger, in silence, in the shadows.

And when they had made love, on the ship that brought them away from ruins of Asgard, Loki had dared to hope he had finally ended that tiring climb, and that he was on the top of Thor's thoughts, that he was the only one. But he was wrong, once again.

"I believed you were dead,” Thor defended himself. “I was trying to get on with my life, but..."

"Did you believe it or did you hope it?"

Tired of being repeatedly interrupted and misunderstood, Thor reached Loki in two steps and hugged him from behind, regardless of the frost that immediately attacked his body.

Loki jumped in surprise at that contact, and tried to wriggle free.

"Let me go, Thor, or you will freeze," he shouted, alarmed.

"Shut up and listen to me! There's nothing between me and Jane: it's over and I don’t feel anything for her, beyond mere friendship. We slept in the same room, but I had no desire for her, because I couldn’t stop thinking about you. About us."

As he spoke, his arms around Loki's chest had taken on an alarming bluish color, he would freeze in a matter of minutes, but he still didn’t let Loki go.

"I beg you Loki, believe me."

Despite the anger and jealousy he felt, Loki certainly didn’t want to kill his brother, so he concentrated, repressed his Jotun nature and returned to his usual appearance.

Thor's lips immediately found the skin of his shoulder left uncovered by the tunic.

"You have no reason to be jealous of Jane, or of anyone else. If it's true that you've seen what I've done in these months, you also know that when I killed Thanos, I did it for you, just for you. I didnìt care about the universe, or the other Avengers, or our people, I just wanted to avenge you, to repay my debt and to atone for my fault."

Now it was Loki's turn to be confused.

"What fault?"

"You risked your life for me, you did all you could to protect and save me, but when you handed the Tesseract to Thanos, I believed you were betraying me again, and the last thing I told you was that you were the worst brother, and this has tormented me since then."

"My previous records didn’t play in my favor," Loki snorted with a bitter smile.

Thor shook his head and left a little trail of kisses on his white skin; Loki closed his eyes and sighed.

"Forgive me for being the worst brother."

Loki relaxed against his body: Thor was stubborn, incredibly proud and unwilling to apologize; once, when they were kids, he remained in punishment for fifty years, because he didn’t want to admit to Odin that he was wrong.

But now those words slipped out of his mouth with such naturalness, that Loki was sure he was sincere. He was the god of mischief, he understood better than anyone else when someone was lying to him, and Thor wasn’t doing anything like that.

As Loki’s mind calmed down, even the temperature in the room rose up and the frost evaporated.

"You can let me go now,” Loki joked. “I will not freeze Tony Stark's estate, forcing you to pay for the damage."

"No!” Thor stubbornly refused to loosen his embrace. “Tell me you forgive me, first."

Loki rolled his eyes, about to argue that Thor couldn’t order someone to forgive, but the gruffiness and the goofy attitude were part of Thor’s character, and basically Loki liked it.

He brought one arm over his shoulder and touched Thor’s head, stroking his hair.

"You are forgiven."

"Just like that? You don’t even try to stab me?"

"Next time, maybe."

"I will be on guard."

"You better be."

Thor smiled: Loki was the only person with whom he could joke lightly of ambushes and stabs. He made him turn and stroked his face and his long black hair, a part of him still incredulous that his brother survived; his eyes ran to Loki’s throat, the throat that Thanos had crushed, and the memory was so violent that it made him nauseous.

Loki put his hands on Thor’s shoulders, as if to chase off that horrific memory.

"I have to thank my fascination with Tesseract if I am alive: I have studied it for so long that I have understood how it works, and I have learned some new tricks from it. So, when Thanos strangled me, I moved my body imperceptibly into space: I wasn’t completely there and so his grip was not deadly, even though I barely survived."

"As the ship shattered, I held you close to me as long as I could, you must believe me."

"Yes,” one of Loki’s hand moved to caress his face. “I felt it."

He put his other arm around Thor’s shoulders and kissed him on the lips.

Thor freezed a few seconds: in the moments they had had for them, before Thanos attacked, he had always been the one to take the initiative with Loki, impetuous and excited, but he didn’t mind that change of roles.

Loki was delicate in his kisses, but extremely sensual, he teased and provoked Thor, and then withdrew with a smug smile, and that was enough to ignite his senses.

Thor's hands found the hem of his tunic and threw it away, then, in a sudden move, he lifted Loki on his shoulder and marched fast to the bedroom.

"You've the grace of a gorilla!" Loki protested, laughing and punching his back with weak fists.

Thor took a moment to savor that crystalline sound, then threw Loki on the bed, quickly removed his clothes, and crawled towards him.

Loki's eyes drank every detail of Thor’s body: the tense muscles of his arms, his eyes burning with desire, his broad chest, his strong thighs, and the heavy cock that swayed between his legs.

Thor lay down on Loki, blocking him on the mattress with his weight, and blew on his lips: "Are you comfortable?"

"Yes."

"Very well," Thor growled, biting him on the neck, “because I'm not going to let you to leave this bed so quickly."

He savored the shiver of pleasure that ran through Loki's body and the strangled moan that escaped his lips.

He brought two fingers to his mouth, sucking them: a small part of him regretted not being able to play with Loki’s body and linger in some pleasant foreplay, but the predominant part of his brain was clouded by the desire for Loki, and he needed to take him right now.

After all, as he had promised, they wouldn’t leave the room soon, and they would have time to do whatever they want, later.

"Wait," Loki said with a mischievous smile, "I'm sure there's something more suitable here."

He used his magic to open the bedside drawer; Thor got up on his knees to look in and found an assortment of condoms and lubricants.

"How did you know there was this stuff?" He asked in amazement.

"You said this place belong to Stark, it was predictable."

Thor poured a generous amount of transparent gel over his fingers.

"Don’t overdo it, you don’t have to drown me with that... AH!" Loki moaned, arching his back as his brother's fingers penetrated him and immediately found his prostate.

Thor loved to watch Loki losing control under him; he had had many lovers in his life, but no one had ever been as erotic as his brother; Loki’s body, tonic but slender, still had a surprising grace even as he writhed on the bed and breathed heavily, with half-open lips and heavy eyelids.

Thor couldn’t take his eyes off Loki’s beautiful face; for this reason he didn’t notice that one of Loki's hand had let go of the sheets and had slipped down; he grabbed Thor’s erection in his fist and pumped it hard, just as he liked it.

The long abstinence combined with Loki’s agile fingers caused a surge of intense and unexpected pleasure that took his breath away; Thor closed his eyes and grabbed Loki's arm, blocking his movements.

"Not now... or we will not do anything," he warned.

Loki's eyes widened in surprise, and Thor blushed.

"It has been a long time,” he snapped, “and I'm close already."

"How close?" Loki murmured, then, with a subtle movement, he twisted his wrist free, and stroked Thor's shaft all the way to the frenulum, where he moved in small circles.

"LOKI!"

Thor had to grab the base of his penis to block the impending orgasm, while his brother looked at him, pleased to see the results of his touch; Thor took it as a challenge: he wanted to erase that little smug smile from Loki’s face and make him scream with pleasure.

He didn’t hesitate any longer: with a sudden move, he lifted Loki’s legs and penetrated him in a swift motion, and start immediately pounding fast and hard into him.

Loki's fingers clawed and scratched his back uncontrollably, and what remained of his silvertongue were just a few incoherent syllables, silenced soon by Thor's eager mouth on his.

Wrapped as if they wanted to merge into one body, they were a perfect, unique, unrepeatable joint. What there was between them, they wouldn’t find with anyone else.

"Do you feel it?" Thor asked between harsh breaths, interrupting the kiss.

Loki snorted a weak laugh, panting hard. "It's hard not to feel it, pun intended."

"Loki, I'm serious."

Loki touched his cheek with the back of his fingers, an unusual gesture of tenderness (to which Thor immediately reserved a special place in his memories) and whispered slowly: "I feel it."

Thor hugged him even more tightly, his face sunk in Loki’s black hair, his breath broken, and when Loki shivered and clamped down his erection, he came with a deep, guttural growl.

Thor lay on him, still inside him, reluctant to move away from his body; he closed his eyes as Loki's hand began to stroke his sweaty hair and sighed with bliss, but after a while some thoughts crept into his head.

"I abdicated,” Thor confessed to his brother, “because I didn’t want to reign without you. If we want I think we could go back to our people, but they’ve already chosen a regent and..."

"I don’t care," Loki interrupted him: he had no desire to discuss politics.

"Really?"

Loki looked at the placid sea beyond the large window, at the expanse of white sand and at the breeze that blew gently over the tall palm trees.

"The sun is shining again on us, and right now I just want you to keep the promise you made me, not to let me leave this room."

He moved his hips and raised an eyebrow, allusive: Thor's erection, still trapped in his body, hadn’t abated at all.

"As I told you, I come from a long abstinence," Thor muttered, clearing his throat.

"Then let's not waste any more time," Loki whispered in his ear.

 

*

 

Ross returned to the Sanctum after work, toed off his shoes near the entrance, tossed his jacket on the first chair he found, and the tie on the stairway handrail.

"What did we say about leaving our clothes scattered around the place?" Asked a deep voice from the room at the top of the stairs.

"I thought I was alone,” he objected. “Didn’t you have to go to Thor and Loki’s place and warn them not to cause any disaster while they’re on Earth?"

"I tried, but it's not possible," Strange answered with a grimace, then he lifted Everett's clothes with magic and moved them to the bedroom closet.

"You mean they're..."

"Yes."

"STILL?"

"Yes."

"But it's been a week!"

Strange shrugged.

"One of the advantages of being gods, I suppose."

"So you have anything to do this evening," Everett said, hands buried in his trouser pockets.

"So it seems. Any ideas on how to use this time?"

"Oh, I could have just been inspired."


End file.
